The Past I Never Forgot
by Alice Ember
Summary: I'm a true B&B fan but a reltionship betweeen Bones Temperance Brennan and NCIS's Tony DiNozzo has always caught my interest. Tony and Temperance had been best friends before Booth now they come back together. Rated M for safety
1. Chapter 1

_**I don't own Bones **_

There is a time in everyone's life's that they just want to lay face down in the dirt and let the world kick them in the ribs until their spitting blood. They're just so tired of fighting, of caring, of just breathing. They feel weak, defeated, pathetic, and like a waste. That's where Dr. Temperance Brennan is. It seems to be her time to fall to her knees before the ominous presence called life.

*Brennan's POV*

I know they think I've lost my rationality with the last case and in truth I had. I had drawn parallels between myself and the victim. But I was Dr. Temperance Brennan, my momentary lapse of judgment and emotional confession was over, I couldn't fix the past. That is something I learned young, as soon as something happened, it couldn't be taken back no matter what. You dealt with the consciences of your actions and that was all you could do.

"Sweetie, you've been in Limbo all day. Will you please come to dinner with me," Angela's voice interrupted my thoughts which were far from the skeleton laid out in front of me.

"I'm busy Angela and also I'm not hungry," I replied making my voice sound like it used to, cold and distant.

"Bren, Sweetie, don't be like that and don't use that tone of voice with me."

I sighed in frustration and resignation. She was one of my best friends; she had seen the old Temperance Brennan and had still stuck around. I know she believed that she loved me but I was aware that love was just a chemical reaction in the brain… it was a delusion, a painful, hurtful mirage. I wanted to believe that Angela did love me, that it would save me from the lonely future that I was to lead. I still hadn't turned to face her, I couldn't look at her and see emotions I couldn't feel swirling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry for my tone Ang, but truthfully I am not hungry."

"All right Bren… if that's the way you want it," with that she was gone.

I remember a time when she would have just grabbed a chair and sat in bone storage with me, nagging me, demanding I go with her until I just couldn't take it anymore and I relented. Those days had long since passed giving way to her future with Hodgins and their baby. I grew accustom to the increasing amount of time I spent alone, and turned to bone storage to chase away the outside world. I missed the days of her constant girl talks and the times she'd worry about my safety. When she could spot when I was lying just by looking at me, instead of her believing every lie I told her. My favorite being "I'm fine."

A sudden ringing bounced around the walls of bone storage, making me aware of my surroundings. I was disorientated for only a few seconds before I realized that the ringing was coming from outside the door of bone storage. I quieted my mind so that I could hear what was being said.

"Studly, I don't know where you are or what you're doing but you need to get down here. She's just being so cold…no I don't care that you're with Hannah. Get here now!... yeah, yeah you moved on we have all heard this… She's your best friend and your partner, you used to care… no no never mind it's clear you're not the man I thought you were. Good bye Seeley."

The entire conversation had stopped my heart even though it was scientifically impossible. Booth truly didn't care anymore, and I had to keep telling myself that I was happy for him. He was finally going to get his 40 to 50 years. He'd have his children and his house with a backyard. He'd live the life he always dreamed about and he'd be the best husband and dad he could be to Hannah and their children, they'd be lucky to have him. Booth was happy and even though he didn't value my opinion of feelings anymore I would continue to put a smile on my face and be happy for him. I owed him that much.

I struggled to stay focused on the task at hand; I refused to think about Booth and the fact that he was not my friend, my companion, and the man I could always count on anymore. He'd given up on me admittedly he believed I'd given up on him first but I hadn't. I was confused, scared, and trying to protect him. But my motives no longer mattered because I no longer did. I was back to the woman I was before Booth; at least I wished I could be that woman again, where nothing ever hurt.

I gave up on trying to get any work done and headed to my office. Most of the lights in the lab were off due to the lack of people there. It was just me and the security guards usually but I could see that Angela's office lights were on. Okay, so she still did care about me, but she had a life she now lived that I wasn't a part of… not because she hadn't wanted me there but I found it increasingly hard to be surrounded with the reminder of family when I didn't have a stable one myself.

"Ang, you need to get home. It's not good for you or the baby to be out at this time of night, in your mind frame," I said as I stopped into her office to see her staring at her computer screen.

"I'm going home when you go home, Bren," she said forcefully and emotionally without looking at me.

"Well I was just about to get my coat and call you to tell you I was leaving so I would presume that you'll be going home now, would you like for me to call Hodgins to come get you?"

"Thank God Sweetie! I wasn't sure Jack would actually let me stay but I don't like it when my baby's Aunt Bren is at work all night by herself. It's not right and I just won't stand for it anymore."

"Okay Angela. Let's get you home then shall we," I helped her put on her coat as I spoke.

After stopping quickly at my office we were headed out the doors of the Jeffersonian. Angela wrapped her arms around my waist and tucked herself into me, seemingly seeking something from my person. Her touch didn't bother me as much as everyone else's so I cautiously put my arm around her shoulders and held her loosely. I was telling her in my own awkward way that it was okay to hold onto me. She did just that because as she had told many before this she understood Brennan speak or so they called it. We soon arrived at my car and I helped her in and then went around and started it up.

"Bren, you know I love you right and no Sweetie my love for you is not a chemical reaction of the brain that will fade. You are my sister and you are my best friend and I just want to see a smile grace your lips again… I just love you," She said the last line pitifully as if she already knew I didn't believe her.

"Ang, Love is indeed just chemicals in the brain and you know I don't specifically believe in love but, I find that if I did… I'd love you too. You've always been there for me when you could be and your constant worry for my well-being is nice to count on. If you'll give me a moment to organize my thoughts there is something I think I should tell you."

She simply nodded her head, already taken back by what I had just told her but willing to hear anything else o had left to say. I knew that I was going to be breaking down every wall I had ever built, any hope that I had of getting over Booth with my old ways, and or just going back to normal but for Angela I'd do anything. I turned to face her and I looked into the eyes of my best friend and even though I knew it was logical I thought I could read her thoughts from just looking at her eyes, her heart and mind an open book.

"Angela, I find that there is some force that clutches my heart when I think about you hurt, there is some foreign substance clogging my lungs when I hear you distressed. When I see you happy, for no reason I smile.., even though all these happenings are completely unsupported by any scientific findings…I have come to realize that I do love you, I can't rationalize it or use logic around it. You're like the sister I always asked for and I love you," By the end of this I was crying, and I knew it.

I had looked away from Angela during the exchange but a sob brought my eyes startled to her. She had her hand pressed harshly holding back her sobs and I instantly felt horrible. All I had done was say what she had been asking me to say for years and now she was crying I had done it wrong! I had upset Angela! I rushed out of the car and around to her side of the car and opened the door so I could reach her. She spilled out of the car and I caught her just in time as her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me into a hug that I thought was going to either bring physical pain to me or her. I'd rather it be me.

"Oh Sweetie, I am so proud of you! I love you too. You are amazing Bren, I knew you could do this," Angela gushed as she still clung to my neck and cried into my skin. I held onto her as best I could, letting her cry and being considerably confused as to why.

After she had finished crying, I got her loaded into the car. I soon got her home and then I was headed to my apartment. Tonight's events claimed my thought and I realized that no matter how much I said emotions were irrational and completely without logic I still felt them. I could get swept up in feelings, sensations, and emotions just like everyone else. My past hadn't ruined the soul Booth believed resided in everyone, I still had one. I was human; when I bled I bled red, when I cried it was the same as every other person's tears. I Temperance Brennan was a human being and it would be in my best interest to just except that and all the pain that came with it.

Once I was inside my apartment I lay down on my couch, tired of thinking but knowing the thoughts wouldn't just shut off. I knew I should be getting ready for bed or eating a quick dinner but I just didn't want to move and inch from my couch, the day had been to exhausting. I must have fallen asleep on the couch.

Sometime later I felt as if I was being picked up and carried, the familiarity of the arms holding me soothed any thoughts I had of an attack. But even as the arms familiarity soothed me it wasn't a distinct familiarity, so I pretended to be asleep, waiting to see how this turned out. The man that was carrying me brought me to my room and gently laid me in my bed. He hesitated on what to do with my outer garments but in the end just removed my shoes. As he pulled my blanket up to my neck and laid a kiss on my forehead I caught his scent. Automatically I sucked in a shocked breath and my eyes opened to stare at the man I hadn't seen in over 7 years.

"Tony is that you? What? Why? How," I demanded looking up into his face.

"In the flesh baby and one question at a time. I'm here because you need me, you're not all that hard to find Temperance, and I drove," came his quirky reply and his charm smile as he leaned over me.

"I don't know what that means… and I don't understand," I was completely dumfounded by his presence but as always I found myself calming and relaxing due to his smile.

"Temper, Baby, it's to late to be explaining the past seven years to you. I'll be here in the morning if you don't mind me taking your couch."

"No need to take the couch Tony. You may sleep there if you wish."

"There you are, that's my Temper. I'll see you in the morning."

With that parting remark he was gone and I listened to his shuffling in my living room. He soon ceased his movements and I slowly fell asleep knowing that I was safe and for the first time in a very long time my heart was at peace. Tomorrow DiNozzo and I would talk at I'd get an explaination for the last 7 years of my life. Everything would be okay if not better. I would survive, I always did.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own bones.

I woke up disorientated and confused. I must have been dreaming Tony was here… It wouldn't have been the first time. I stumbled out of my bed, the covers catching my feet and making me fall to the ground in a heap. I would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation if Tony hadn't come running in, gun raised.

"Are you all right Tempe? What happened," He asked nervously as he scanned my room for a threat that wasn't there.

"I'm fine Tony, I simply fell out of my bed," I replied exasperated as I moved to stand up.

He put away his gun and pivoted his torso towards me, his eyes searching me for injuries. I sighed in frustration; a simple tumble out of bed shouldn't warrant such an emotional reaction. It was Ludacris. I ran my hand through my tousled hair trying to shake off the sleep that clung to my thoughts. It suddenly hit me that Tony was real and he was standing in my bed room. I strode across the small space between us and slammed my body into his.

"Whoa, "he said as air rushed from his lungs.

He caught me around the waist and he held me as tight as he possibly could to him. I let him, just soaking in the warmth his body provided. I knew sooner or later we would have to talk but I didn't want to right now, couldn't right now. All I wanted was to feel him, alive and whole against me. It had been so long since I'd seen him. Since I'd given myself the leisure of thinking about him. He was supposed to be just a forgotten memory in the back of my mind.

"Well isn't this a nice Good morning," he said just below the base of my ear, sending chills up my spine.

My body reacted to him in a way that it had only reacted to one other male in my life. But his name being said, even in my mind would ruin the sanctity of this moment and it would bring me back to the life I was thankful to forget for a little while, so I pushed the thought from my mind.

"Tony, why are you here," I asked from where my face was positioned in his neck.

"I heard you needed me," he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I've needed you plenty before this," I reminded him.

"I know Tempe… But it wasn't time for me to come back. I would have done anything to come back sooner. But you weren't ready."

I thought his words were ill-informed and wrong but I let him keep talking without a rebuff just so I could continue to hear his voice. The voice I had missed so much over the past 7 years. Most people would have forgotten the sound of his voice, the smile on his face, the way a simple touch from him could set the world to rights again, but not me. I could never forget. I held tighter to him, not wanting him to slip from my grasp.

"Tempe, there is no need to crush me. I'm not going anywhere," he said a little breathlessly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said as I quickly released him and took a step back, out of his embrace.

"Well, hey now I didn't say let go all together," he said with his charm smile on his face.

I could feel my own smile growing as I gazed at him, just taking in every detail about him. His bone structure made him extremely attractive and his eyes held so much. His body was finely tuned, I could tell because he was just standing in my room in his navy boxers. I giggled a bit, shocked at myself for doing so. This was defiantly not the first time I'd seen a man in his boxers and certainly not Tony. But I giggled none the less.

"What are you giggling about," he asked suspiciously. He followed my eyes down to the lower half of his body and a cocky grin spread across his face. "So you like what you see," he said as he smirked at me.

I made no move to reply but he didn't need me to, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in as close as before but now he was staring into my face, both of us smiling like fools. I brought my hand up and placed it affectionately on his cheek, loving the fact that I could finally touch him.

"I've missed you Temperance," he all but whispered to me. My name coming from him seemed to be a kind of caress, making me feel warm and safe.

"I've missed you too Anthony."

I can't recall how long we stood there until there was a knock on my door, interrupting us. Tony released me and made his way to answer it. Under normal circumstances I would have protested, it being my apartment and all but this was Tony and he wasn't doing it to be dominant or alpha male. He was just doing it because he was closest and he didn't mind answering the door in his boxers. I went to my closest to get ready. I had just pulled on a pair of old faded blue jeans and a white t-shirt when I heard Tony shout to me.

"What is it Tony," I called back as I walked to the door barefoot, pulling my hair up into a pony tail on my way. I let my bangs hang out because I couldn't really catch them in the pony tail.

"A Seeley Booth with the FBI is here," he replied and I could hear the note of condescending in his simple sentence and if it hadn't been for Booth being only 5 feet away I would have laughed.

"What do you need Booth," I asked as I walked up behind Tony, placing my hand on his shoulder to tell him where exactly I was.

"Well I just came to check on you, but then I found this answering your door," he said as he indicated Tony with a flick of his head.

"No reason to check on me Booth, it's Saturday and we don't have a case. Get home to Hannah and Parker," I replied evenly the only sign of my discomfort was the tightening of the hand I had placed on Tony's shoulder.

"Who's this guy, "Booth asked, ignoring my statement?

"Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS, at your service," Tony said with a predatorily smile.

"Special Agent Seeley Booth, FBI and 's partner," Booth replied as he stuck out his hand for Tony to shake.

Tony took the offered hand and I could tell by the tightening of their muscles that they were doing the alpha male, crush each other's hands thing. It annoyed me but I let them for a moment or two. I then reached out with my other hand and grasped the one Tony had gripping the door. He looked over at me and I gave him the sweetest look I could muster. Hoping that I could actually get my facial expressions right.

"Tony if you want to go get breakfast then you might want to go get some clothes on," I told him with a small smile playing on my lips.

He turned towards me, releasing Booth's hand and put his right hand on my cheek. I was stunned when he leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek. He lingered for only a few seconds and then headed back into my apartment without saying good bye to Booth. I looked after him for a second or two and then turned to Booth.

A shocked expression was on his face as he watched Tony saunter away from over my shoulder. The shock only lasted a few more seconds before it turned to one of out-rages. I took an involuntary step backwards, feeling his emotions choke me.

"Who is that Bones," he asked.

The use of my old nickname made me angry and I smirked up at him and said, "My best friend."


	3. Chapter 3

** I don't own bones****

Booth's face became full of rage after the words had left my lips and I took another involuntary step back.

"I'm your best friend," he growled.

I bristled at his tone and words.

"You were Booth. But even the best of friends drift apart. And you have drifted so far away that most days I can't even reach you. No matter how hard I try or how far I stretch, I can't touch you."

"That's insane Bones! I'm right here! I am still your best friend I am still your only friend!"

His last statement hit me hard and I fought back the tears in my eyes. I took another step back. Inching myself closer to the safety of my apartment.

"Your not my best friend. Your not my only friend. Your not even my friend. I believe you introduced us as just acquaintances. That's all we are. Now go home. Hannah will surely be missing you by now on a Saturday morning," my voice had become cold and distant.

"You know what? Fine Dr. Brennan. I'll be happy to have our partnership severing documents drawn up and on your desk Monday morning," he all but spit every word.

"Make sure that you do Agent Booth. My time is very valuable I can't just sit around and wait for it. Have a pleasant day." With that I entered my apartment and shut the door firmly behind me.

Tony was standing right in my path and I fell into him searching for reassurance and the comfort his presence gave me.

I felt as if my heart was shattering as if my life has fallen apart. Tony rubbed soothing circles into my back as I sobbed. After some time my crying seized and Tony spoke low into my ear.

"It's all right now baby. I'm here." I let Tony's words take away some of the pain and I soon I stepped back from the embrace. I righted my clothes and walked into my room and fixed the makeup I had put on my face.

As I walked out of my room I saw Tony leaning up against the wall across from my bedroom. I felt a soft smile form on my face as I looked at him. He'd make this better, he always did. Tony returned the smile and presented me his arm to take.

I shook my head ruefully and took it knowing he only did it so we could have contact. I slipped my hand from around his arm to his hand and clasped our hands together. He didn't protest as he led us from my apartment building and out onto the street.

We walked hand and hand down the busy street. After a few minutes we reached Tony's car. I got into the passenger side and directed him to the diner.

I had been avoiding the diner like it had some foreign disease, half afraid I'd stumble upon Booth and Hannah. But now with Tony by my side I didn't mind going there so much.

Tony reached over and held my hand a he drove. I drew comfort and warmth from his touch as I lay my head back against the headrest. Soon enough we has pulled up to the diner and I didn't spot Booth's car so I relaxed the final bit. Tony waited for me by the door as I climbed out of the car. I flashed him a sarcastic smile as he held the door of the diner open for me. He raised a brow at me and I laughed a little.

I steered away from Booth's and my table and seated Tony and I across the diner. We ordered our breakfast from a young waitress who tried to flirt mercilessly with Tony. He sent me a distressed look when the girl put her hand on his chest so I decided to help him out.

"Tony dear, your mother called this morning she wanted me to remind you to use your rash ointment. The location of he infected area is quite important if you ever want kids so I suggest you hed your mothers orders."

The waitress's hand was gone in seconds and Tony's cheeks reddened in embarrassment. He kicked me hard under the table but I didn't even flinch. I looked straight at him with a slight frown on my face, waiting for his retort. The waitress scurried away and Tony turned to me with a glare.

"That was all you could come up with? A rash in my lower region! Really Temperance! Nothing else?"

"Of course I had other ideas I am a genius after all I just thought this one would work the best and guess what Anthony. It did."

He mumbled incoherently under his breathe and I just smirked at him knowing I had won.

When our food came we ate with idle chitchat between us, catching up on each others life's. As we slowly got back into our old rhythm I realized just how immensely I'd missed Tony.

He'd been such a major part of my life growing up that it was hard at first to live without him. But we'd both needed time to get our life's back together...

It had taken us 7 years and it seemed that mine was already falling apart again.

"Tony why now?" I asked as we walked out of the diner.

"I told you baby you needed me."

" No other reason?"

"I needed you too. It was time for you to fall back into my arms and for me to catch you. Maybe this time we can make us stick huh?"

I smiled at him as he drove me to the Jeffersonian. I invited him in which he graciously accepted. I showed him around before heading to my office to finish up some paperwork.

He sat in the corner of my office and inspected the artifacts spread throughout it.

"How hard was it for you," he asked suddenly and I instantly knew what he meant.

"Difficult even. I became what everyone around here likes to describe as Cold, unfeeling, cold fish, a cold hearted bitchtress. I just couldn't deal. So I locked everything out. Even Angela. I had to just live within myself. You were all I ever depended on and to suddenly not have you left me empty inside. So that's how I lived my life. Empty. I jumped from dangerous dig to dangerous dig, just hoping that I would feel something! That I could be human again. But nothing could make me feel like my heart was alive again. You'd taken that with you when you left. I tried so hard Tony. I did. I just couldn't. I loved you so much," my voice was small and strained as the words were forced out of my throat.

Tony was across the room and kneeling infront of me in seconds. I gazed down at him as tears flowed down his face. His silent cries made my own tears fall from my eyes. His arms wrapped around my back and he placed his head on my stomach as I was still sitting in my chair.

I stroked his hair as looked down at the man who had stolen my heart so long ago.

"I'm so sorry baby girl. I never meant to hurt you. You were always my first priority which is why I left. I wasn't doing you any good. We fought everyday. That night I made you cry was the last stray. I couldn't stand it anymore. My only mission in live was to make you happy, to love you. I failed... I've got to ask you though... Loved Tempy? As in not anymore," his voice was muffled by my stomach but it still came out chocked and rough.

"Oh Tony you know I'll alway love you. I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I'll love you tomorrow. It'll never go away I promise you."

A gasp came from the door and a strangled word was said,

"Bones."


End file.
